How to Recognize and Respond to Chivalry

Hello!

Life update: I’ve been super busy as of late. I’m back in Japan and not even a month ago I was in Trinidad & Tobago (beautiful island) visiting family, but mind you I still live in the U.S. I’ve just been going back and forth between Japan and had to squeeze in sometime to visit family in Trinidad. So, as you all can see I’ve been traveling a lot lately and I am finishing up my last semester starting late August…still have a few more weeks here in Japan before I go back to the U.S. to finish school.

~

Anyway, as you can see from this post’s title is that today’s topic is about chivalry and many say chivalry is dying and it probably is–to some.

But for feminine women, chivalry is still alive and well. Let me explain, today we live in an age where chivalry is no longer a given to every single woman a man comes across. It is not longer mandatory to give any random woman chivalry. There is no moral code anymore that says men have to be chivalrous to women, but chivalry comes in many different ways than just opening the door for women, carrying her bags, etc. Men respond to feminine energy so, if a woman is feminine no matter where she is in the world, men will go out of her way for her. Men actually like to feel needed and plenty of women respond to a man offering to help or serve her in a defensive manner.

We needn’t be so defensive!

How to Recognize Chivalry:

Chivalry comes in many forms, I have coined a term for it (3 P’s)

Protect

Provide

Problem Solve

How to Respond to Chivalry:

Let’s be honest, if you are a feminine woman, men are going to offer to do things for you. They may be friends, family, and or even a stranger. A lot of women, especially black women, get defensive because we’ve been trained by society to recognize a man being chivalrous as odd or suspicious, but that is not always the case.

The best way to respond to chivalry, more often than not, is to just accept it! If he wants to do something for you, let him do it. If he is a stranger you are not obligated to repay him, but if he is a friend, family, spouse, partner, etc. then you can respond in any feminine manner as a thank you. Here are some ways:

• Simply saying “Thank you”
• If it is a spouse or boyfriend, a kiss on the cheek or lips and a smile
• A hug
• Writing a thank you card
• Baking him a treat (a friend of mine is a really good baker and does this)

And there are so many other ways of saying thank you that I haven’t even listed.

Of course there is a lot to write on chivalry , but this blog is just for covering the basics. The next few posts I will be covering some other topics, such as a body care, skin care, hair care, feminine hobbies, organization, and even cooking/baking recipes. If any of these interest you and you would like to see the next blog post on any one of these topics, please let me know in the comments.

Much love,

lovelyleblanc7 ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Mother’s Day

 

Happy Mother’s Day!

I read an amazing post about mother’s day that really encapsulates the sentiments of what mother’s day is about.

Every year, I lose little bits of my own childhood and instead gain bits of motherhood memory. My brain is inscribing their words and losing my own. Comparison comes now and then, and that is when I recall my own childhood. What a miracle to have these intersecting moments, motherhood and childhood in the same space. This Mother’s Day, I want simplicity. I want a slow day with a floral dress and the sun, hopefully. I want healthy children and peace and a slightly cleaner apartment—if I’m lucky. I want love. Not just for myself, but for those surrounding me too. I want basics, the simple connections of love and motherhood and sisterhood.

Read the rest here on LaTonya Yvette’s blog

❤ lovelyleblanc7

Why You Shouldn’t Care

I’m uploading two posts today because I really want to express that I’m trying again to be more active on this blog. A lot of black femininity blogs post sporadically (I’m guilty of that) or have abandoned their blogs all together. I will try my best to post at least once a week or every other week.

Now leading on to another topic–> Why You Shouldn’t Care!

This is not one of those blogs that focus on black men and black women (or really men in general unless it is in the context of romantic relationships). I’m not here to bash black men, to bash black women, to be schooling you on “where you’ve gone wrong” or “what you could be doing.” This site is geared towards black women who want to and enjoy being feminine (of course women of other backgrounds are welcome as there is something here for everybody I believe).

I am now going to go through a bullet point list of things of “Why You Shouldn’t Care.”

• You meet a nice man. He adores you, cherishes you, protects you, is a good provider, respects your chastity, wants to marry you, etc. But God forbid he is not BLACK. So what? You’re not going to marry him now? WHO CARES! Seriously, why do you care?
• A group or sect of men don’t like you because you’re dark skin, light skin, overweight, underweight, small bust, big bust, whatever. WHO CARES! Focus on men who want you and who are attracted to you. Don’t focus on those who don’t care about you. Ignore them. Don’t talk about them, don’t bash them, just leave them alone and focus on quality men who want you.
• There are a lot of problems and controversies in the world. There is no way you can know them all and pay attention to them all. But people expect you to be there and support everything. This one may sound cold, but WHO CARES! Give attention to what you can give attention to.
• The next time someone asks “Why are you so dressed up?” or “Why are you wearing a dress?” WHO CARES. Just smile and say “I felt like it.” No need to bash others or look down on others who dress more casually. You’re doing you.

Now these are just a few examples. Obviously, I’m not saying you should go through life apathetic, although there are times. But don’t worry about things that can hinder your joy. We should focus on uplifting each other. I want to start a theme of ending my posts with a challenge, something we can do. So today’s challenge is below.

Challenge: Compliment other women, build strong friendships with other women. Say thank you if a man does something chivalrous for you…matter of fact, if a man offers to do something for you (carry something heavy, offer to fix something, etc.) ACCEPT IT. Give and receive. Share love!

P.S. Sorry if this post seemed kind of jumbled just some thoughts going through my head.

❤ lovelyleblanc7

 

 

 

Joyful Feminine Attitude

Note: Sorry I have not posted in a while. I have been traveling a lot, and while that is certainly not a sufficient excuse at least know I haven’t abandoned this femininity blog.

As you all know, I’m all for empowering women to be women.

So what if we are emotional?

So what if we don’t make sense all the time?

We’re human.

But more specifically, we’re women.

Now this doesn’t mean to say that we are not intelligent, logical, or can’t think or make decisions abstractly, but we feel more complete when we are in our feminine state.

This transitions into the title, a “Joyful Feminine Attitude.”

I’ve written posts on smiling  and being girly so, this may seem repetitive but that is because I see all these femininity posts about dresses, hair, make up, etc (and don’t get me wrong, these things are important) but nothing about having a joyful feminine attitude. When you are truly in a feminine state, you can go outside with no make up or 5-inch heels and still be seen as beautiful!

Why?

Because it separates you from men. You have something men don’t. Something that makes men and women want to be around you, a company hire you, a man want to marry you, whatever it may be, etc. A lady with a feminine joyful attitude, who can easily laugh and smile with her eyes can captivate almost any heart.

Sometimes we frown because we are sad (understandable, women shouldn’t be shamed for crying) but sometimes we have an impassive uncaring face because we perhaps want to get hired? Be taken seriously? Not ditzy like those other girls?

Here’s a challenge: When you wake up in the morning, listen to your favorite song and dance freely, jump up and down, twirl, or just sway sensually if you like; it doesn’t matter what you do. What matters is staying true to yourself, embracing your femininity.

❤ lovelyleblanc7

Feminine Fashion Series!

Hello lovelies!

I’ve decided to start a feminine fashion series and feel free to submit via e-mail any photos of yourself or whatever you find online that inspires feminine fashion.

Since I am very busy, I’m going to have to put myself on a schedule and most likely will update once a week. One post will include feminine subjects and the other will be entirely devoted to feminine fashion…there will even be a page!

Please submit any posts to lovelyleblanc@yahoo.com

Thank you!

And on with the fashion…!

Dress- Kohl’s

Shoes- Kenneth Cole

Hat- Lou Lou Boutique 

I pretty much shop anywhere as long as I find something that is feminine and of good quality. I’ll be sure to leave the link of where I get my outfit and/or accessories.

If it is within your budget, I would really recommend anthropologie. It is my favorite store. The fashion is extremely feminine and the quality is excellent, you can tell there has been plenty attention to detail. I purchase quite a few of my clothes there and Ann Taylor so, you may see some reoccurring themes.

Yesstyle is also a very affordable website where you can purchase feminine fashion. Asian fashion for women tends to be very feminine and the website is geared towards Asian fashion.

It is so important not to break your bank for fashion. Buy clothes within your means, there is nothing attractive about a women who squanders her money away. When shopping for clothing ask these questions:

Is it feminine? Will it suit my body type? Is the material good quality? Is this within my spending means?

There will be more tips when it comes to feminine fashion later on, but it is getting late and I have a busy day tomorrow!

Stay girly!

<3Lovelyleblanc7

Feminine Inspiration: Arlenis Sosa

Hello lovelies!

Today’s feminine inspiration is Arlenis Sosa. She was one of the faces for Lancome and I think she is a good feminine inspiration for black women.

Below is a video of her being interviewed. One of the tips that she mentioned is that it is very important for you to not go to bed with makeup. I agree!

I would also mention clean make up brushes are so essential to skin care too, but I will make a post soon about make up and skin care.

Also, if none of you women have heard of Patricia Bright, I would really recommend you watch her youtube channel. She has videos ranging from hair, make up, outfits, and all the way up to inspirational videos.

Below is a video she recently posted and I think it is a really good video for all women to hear.

She has a blog also, which I think can be a useful tool for dressing feminine and stylish. While I do take some inspiration from her outfits, I would also recommend tweaking it a bit so it can be more modest.

Giving you all the internet hugs. 🙂

How to respond to femininity haters

This is a must read

Tip Time: Why it is important to separate yourself from feminism

Now, of course, this isn’t any original advice. It’s getting more common to see these types of posts on the net, but I’m not going to be talking about the hypocrisy of feminism, whether or not feminism is actually producing positive results, or even if feminism is actually about “equality.”

You can research that during your own time and do your own research.

I’m going to talk about feminism in relation to black women.

First things first: feminism doesn’t care about black women.

It doesn’t.

Feminism originally started out with upper middle class, white, women who had too much time on their hands. Let’s ignore the fact that they were even able to afford this luxury because of men and their “evil white husbands.”

So, you can already assume that white and upper middle class isn’t what most women fit into, let alone black women (cause we’re not white so, we can never fit the description 100%.)

Very rarely is privilege ever because of race or gender, what most feminists would like you to believe. Privilege is the equivalency of wealth and status. Anybody can accomplish this. I think Oprah Winfrey is more privileged than the average white male.

In short, what I am trying to say is that you are not cripple.

Feminists leaders don’t care about women, especially black women. They sell you “fat-acceptance” instead of “health-conscious acceptance.” And if you don’t fit their trope of “angry, black, obnoxious women” then your only other option is to babysit their children why they go to their cubicles or elementary classrooms to work. They’ll talk about women making less than men, but ignoring the fact that white women make more than black men, Hispanic men, Native American men, and you guessed it…black women.

You have to let go. Feminism is damaging to black women. We live in a time where we have plenty of opportunities to advance ourselves.

Educate yourself. Grow in your femininity. Feel vulnerable. Be loving. Dress feminine.

If you haven’t already guessed it, I’m a big fan of Kerry Washington’s style 😉

Want to lose weight? Then lose weight! Ignore all those women that tell you you’ll lose your “curves.” Don’t worry, all the right curves will still be there.

Have a soft, fun, humble, kind, and gentle spirit. 🙂

There are women today (predominately white) doing “slut-walks” and labeling themselves as sluts in order to fight the negative connotation of the term.

Do you know how long black women have been trying to fight that stereotype? To fight the hyper-sexualization of themselves in the media? This may come off harsh to some, but don’t join in with these activists.

Don’t let these women bring you down. Make friends with women who are improving themselves, who are wise, and enjoy being a woman.

Let’s face it…White women, Asian women, and women of other races generally don’t have to fight preconceived negative stereotypes on the daily. But you do. 

Make every encounter you have with someone a positive and lasting one.

Feminine Inspirations: Naomi Campbell and Kerry Washington

Four tips to remember when in public:
1) Speak slowly
2) Dress Classy
3) Be polite
4) Be tactful about how much personal information you reveal about yourself to strangers

It’s OK to let the little girl out!

Miss France 2014!

Now, don’t be deceived by the title as meaning negative, childish, traits (i.e. whining, etc.)

By letting the “little girl” out, I mean your playful side! 🙂

Too often women are bogged down to only focus on the negative, focus on what they can’t do, focus on what they can’t become, etc.

Society conditions women to focus on the negative aspects of life which is why I think it is so common today to see more women complaining than being happy.

Radiating joy and happiness is what draws people to you.

Chanel Iman (one of my fav black models)

So, if you are wearing your favorite dress and feel like twirling  around in it…just because. Go for it!

Feel like dancing around the living room in your bare feet? Why not?

Have a crush or certain man in your life? Feel like baking some sweets and writing him a nice card to go with it?

Playing with different hairstyles anyone?

Call your friends, make plans to wear sundresses, pack for a potluck, and go for a picnic?

As children we used to be so spontaneous…what happened to that? I’ll admit, I like to plan, be organized, and keep everything on my calendar (whether it be on my written agenda or smart phone). But this is one thing I need to work on.

Don’t conceal feelings or actions that seem “girlish” just because you are afraid of looking weak.

Anybody who knows me would definitely say I’m a logical person, who can only be convinced through statics, facts, etc. I think very linear and tend to take life in the same way.

There is nothing wrong with this, but I’m trying to appeal more to my emotional side.

Black women are criticized sometimes as being “hard” or “rough”; that is not the case. We are just afraid of being vulnerable and opening up. As women, having control seems appealing because it offers comfort.

This couldn’t be further from the truth though, it causes unhappiness and leaves us feeling constricted.

So, let that girly side out every once and while…OK?