Now, don’t be deceived by the title as meaning negative, childish, traits (i.e. whining, etc.)
By letting the “little girl” out, I mean your playful side! 🙂
Too often women are bogged down to only focus on the negative, focus on what they can’t do, focus on what they can’t become, etc.
Society conditions women to focus on the negative aspects of life which is why I think it is so common today to see more women complaining than being happy.
Radiating joy and happiness is what draws people to you.
So, if you are wearing your favorite dress and feel like twirling around in it…just because. Go for it!
Feel like dancing around the living room in your bare feet? Why not?
Have a crush or certain man in your life? Feel like baking some sweets and writing him a nice card to go with it?
Playing with different hairstyles anyone?
Call your friends, make plans to wear sundresses, pack for a potluck, and go for a picnic?
As children we used to be so spontaneous…what happened to that? I’ll admit, I like to plan, be organized, and keep everything on my calendar (whether it be on my written agenda or smart phone). But this is one thing I need to work on.
Don’t conceal feelings or actions that seem “girlish” just because you are afraid of looking weak.
Anybody who knows me would definitely say I’m a logical person, who can only be convinced through statics, facts, etc. I think very linear and tend to take life in the same way.
There is nothing wrong with this, but I’m trying to appeal more to my emotional side.
Black women are criticized sometimes as being “hard” or “rough”; that is not the case. We are just afraid of being vulnerable and opening up. As women, having control seems appealing because it offers comfort.
This couldn’t be further from the truth though, it causes unhappiness and leaves us feeling constricted.
So, let that girly side out every once and while…OK?
Women should be a source of joy for a man. Not fleeting happiness of emotions, but lasting, deep joy.
The best way to show that is this kind of playfulness. Especially to someone who doesn’t know you deeply as of yet.
Thank you 🙂 and I wholeheartedly agree!
I enjoyed this post! I am young woman (will be 18 soon) and people are always saying that I am serious and can’t have fun. The thing is I used to laugh at pretty much everything and people would get ignored. Even a few of my relatives said I was naive for thinking the world is happy place. That made me upset and made me feel childish and ever since then I’ve been afraid to laugh at anything that I find funny, especially if no one else does. I think I might also have a more serious personality due to trying to live up to the smart person ideal. Sorry for all of that :).Besides that, I really like your blog and I hope that you continue to write, more femininity blogs especially by black women are needed and appreciated.
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Thank you for your comment. There will be plenty of posts in the future. (there should actually be one coming out today).
I understand your sentiments. I’m young as well, matter of fact I’m only two years older than you.
My advice would be to let your emotions show. Nothing is more alluring than a genuine laugh and a smile. This requires us to be vulnerable, something I think most black women haven’t been allowed to feel (sadly).
I was the same way with crying. I never wanted to cry even when I was deeply upset. I thought I had to be “strong,” but I forgot the strength that came with being vulnerable. Too often us black women feel the need to be the “strong, independent, black woman who need no man.” But this trope hurts us. We are women too. We have feelings too.
Don’t get me started on crying. Even if tears start to well up in my eyes, my brother calls me a crybaby and my mother is like “this is why I don’t like talking to you or can’t talk to you”. I am a sensitive person, but I find it very sad how many people react negatively to others authentically expressing their emotions. When that happens all I can think of is the strong black women trope and how people might be subconsciously playing into it. Another thing is that my mom told me not to be hard like her, but to be myself, yet at the same time they are criticizing me for being myself. Strange isn’t?
Bottling up your feelings will only stiffen up your femininity and part of being feminine is being open and welcoming (especially if you want to attract men). This means being open to all your emotions, whether it be sad, happy, excited, etc.
I would recommend first thing in the morning to get up and listen to your favorite song and feel, by that I mean dance, laugh, sing, whatever. I normally start my mornings by dancing to my favorite song while making breakfast. It really lightens your mood and helps starts the day off with a cheery attitude. ^.^
No family is perfect, but remember to honor your parents. 🙂
Thank you for the advice 🙂
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